My Pet Died:
Why Am
I Taking It So Hard?
by
Royce Bell
“But the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb which he bought and
nourished; And it grew up together with him and his children. It would eat of his bread and drink of his cup and lie in his
bosom, and was like a daughter to him.”
The Jewish Scriptures
2 Samuel 12:3
Well first, let
us get it out on the table: You are grieving because you have lost a very important member of your family. That is the truth
about it, regardless of what others may say or think.
That you grieve is is true whether or not folks ever acknowledge
how much you loved your favorite pet, now deceased. It is true whether or not they ever really understand.
It is, quite simply, true that you are grieving.
Your pet may have been as dear to you a "Arnold Ziffel"—Arnold
The Pig, of TV's Green Acres fame—was to Mr. Ziffel. Or, as in the citation from the Jewish scriptures, above, as
precious as the little ewe lamb was to the unnamed poor man in Nathan’s story.
But, some folks
will never understand it. That is okay, but it is still true.
Here’s the problem…
Some People Don’t Get It
You see, many people in this world just do not “get it”—they
are a lot like politicians! They do not understand the devotion you bestowed on your beloved dog or cat—or maybe even
your snake or chicken, gerbil, or white mouse.
They do not understand that when you have given your heart to
another living creature, with all the sacrifices that go along with pet ownership (or guardianship, depending on the perspective
you bring to the matter), you feel an intense and deep obligation toward the relationship you made with your pet.
They do not understand, even though they expect you to sympathize with them when a loved one passes away and that you
will just feel their grief and encourage them. Sometimes—often—you don’t even have to speak a word. You
are there for just one reason: because they need you. You see they are hurting and you are there.
Is it not a great shame that some folks cannot just sympathize with you, right now? Well, I said it earlier: They just
do not “get it.” They understand their grief, but they are not so good at understanding your grief.
What You Felt, What You Feel
Maybe your pet
slept at your feet or preened in your presence. Still, folks do not understand how a heart can break when such a loved one
dies. Such people would prefer to think of loved ones as people, human beings. They say, “Pets cannot be ‘loved
ones’.” Boy, do they have a lot to learn!
Maybe your pet was an integral part of your security, perhaps
as a barking watchdog, Your bird, perhaps a canary or parrot, may have been the very first thing you heard every morning--but
now that voice is silenced, forever. It is no wonder that you are hurting!
Long moments of sheer
boredom may have been broken by those fantastic moments of watching your gerbil or hamster run through his cage and expend
all his energy in a revolving wheel or climbing countless ladders to new levels within. You know, there is a reason a dog
is called, “Man’s best friend”—and still, folks just don’t understand, do they?
Those moments, where our pets are thrilling us with play or just the sheer fascination of watching another of God’s
creatures do what He made them to do are the very moments that, quite literally (at least in an emotional sense), burned into
our hearts the deep love that now cries for just another precious moment with a pet.
So, How
Do You Cope?
I hope you will realize that it is truly okay to grieve over your loss. It is okay to
feel angry about the events that took your precious pet, long before you were ready to give her up. It is okay to cry, to
scream, to pound on a pillow--and it is okay to make a simple memorial to your precious pet in your backyard or at the top
of your stairs in your home.
Hundreds of years ago, a person might create a simple mound of rocks as a memorial. A
plant—perhaps a rose or other flower—might be planted as a symbol of the continuing life you desired so much for
your pet.
A tree might be planted or a simple plaster figure of whatever kind of pet you have lost,
might be set up, perhaps even painted in the colors of fur or feathers—or the turtle shell—you so recently caressed.
No matter how insignificant others may have viewed your beloved pet, remember that even Jesus Christ said,
“Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father
(knowing they have fallen).”
The Christian Scriptures
Matthew 10:29
Let the memories live on.
Let love continue.
Let the tears flow.
